Beyond Romance: The Power of Meaningful Friendships This Valentine’s Season

As we approach Valentine’s Day, I wanted to take a moment to reflect on meaningful friendships. Growing up, I learned that Jesus is my friend, someone I could tell anything to. As I studied the Bible over the years, I realized that Jesus Himself had friends. But what stood out to me was that He didn’t seek out friendships with only the rich, the famous, or the most talented. Instead, He befriended everyone—the Pharisees, Sadducees, tax collectors, and even those society looked down on, like the prostitutes.

Jesus’ friendships were intentional because His mission was clear—to save and transform lives. This brings me to the topic of meaningful and intentional friendships. Some friends are in our lives forever, while others are only there for a season—to walk with us through a difficult time, to hold our hands when we receive an unfavorable doctor’s report, or to comfort us when we lose a loved one.

Friendships Are Not Accidents

I firmly believe that God does not allow people to meet without a purpose. I have often heard the saying that people come into our lives either as a blessing or a lesson—and I couldn’t agree more. The Creator of the universe designed everything and everyone with a purpose, and friendships are no exception. However, just as friendships can bring healing and joy, they can also bring pain and heartbreak.

Lessons From My Own Friendships

In my 20s, I had many friends. I loved connecting with people, and I found it easy to form new friendships. At times, I even became friends with friends of friends simply because we clicked. But over time, I noticed that some of my friends—especially those who were more selective about who they let into their lives—felt differently about this.

Through both lighthearted jokes and serious conversations, some of them pointed out that I lacked boundaries. They felt I spent too much time on the phone, engaging in conversations that, in hindsight, didn’t always add value. Some of these truths were hard to accept, but looking back, I realize they were right.

Not all friendships last forever, and some endings hurt deeply. I have experienced friendships that I thought would last a lifetime but didn’t, and it shook me to my core. Sometimes, no matter how much we try to understand why a friendship ended, we may never get the answers we seek.

As I entered my 30s, I reflected on these experiences, and I began to pray for God to bring the right friends into my life—friends who would stick closer than a brother (Proverbs 18:24).

Growth Changes Relationships

Over time, I noticed something shift within me. Life became busier, and I also experienced some difficult seasons where the only comfort I truly needed was from God. That’s when I realized—God was already doing the work of refining my friendships.

There are times when we may take our friends for granted. Sometimes, we can mend those relationships, and other times, the damage is beyond repair. But even through the pain, we learn, grow, and become stronger.

Being Intentional About Friendships

One of the biggest changes I’ve noticed in myself is my approach to communication. For a while now, I have been bad at answering phone calls—not because I don’t care, but because I no longer have the desire to spend hours on the phone, engaging in conversations that lead nowhere.

In my 20s, I could spend one or two hours talking to a friend on the phone. But in my 30s, I simply don’t have the energy or interest to do that anymore. At the same time, I struggle with keeping conversations short, which has made me avoid answering calls altogether. I know this has hurt people who genuinely love and care about me, and unfortunately, it has also led to some friendships fading away.

However, I’ve come to realize that this was necessary for my growth. God has been pruning and reshaping me so that I can fully step into all that He has created me to be. And for that, I am grateful. Today, I cherish the friendships I have—those built on mutual love, respect, and understanding.

Love Beyond Romance

The Bible gives us the true definition of love in 1 Corinthians 13, a passage worth meditating on from time to time. God first loved us, and He demonstrated this love by sending His only Son to die for us. Jesus, the embodiment of love, not only showed us how to love but also became love itself.

As Valentine’s Day approaches, let’s shift the focus beyond romantic relationships. Let’s appreciate the love that exists in all areas of our lives—friendships, family, and community. It’s time to let go of the misconception that love can only be celebrated in a romantic relationship. Valentine’s Day may not be in the Bible, but love is written all over its pages.

So today, let’s make an effort to show love to those around us—not just in words, but in actions. Because at the end of the day, meaningful friendships are one of God’s greatest gifts.